The Importance of Communication During Collaborative Divorce

May 02, 12 The Importance of Communication During Collaborative Divorce

One of the main reasons people choose to proceed with divorce in a collaborative environment rather than through traditional courtroom procedures is because it gives each party the opportunity to fully communicate needs and desires. Unfortunately, it also provides an opportunity for some people to take advantage of mutual goodwill – something that may have been ironically missing in the late stages of the marriage leading up to divorce. In a non-hostile environment, some people are more likely to give up all their rights and give preference to the other party as a demonstration of the goodwill that has been set as the context. Bringing your own divorce attorney in Spokane to the table can help to offset that tendency.

This is basically the opposite of what occurs in courtroom divorces, where both parties are encouraged to delay thinking about their own situation until after consideration for children is given (children usually always come first in any legal divorce procedure, as it should be). In a collaborative divorce, however, there is such a thing as “collaborating your rights away,” the passive approach, and this isn’t any better than what happens in the courtroom.

It is therefore vitally important to use the goodwill to truly communicate your needs and desires. Your divorce attorney in Spokane can help to keep you on track, and the facilitator will usually serve the same purpose, as well. The whole purpose behind a collaborative law divorce is to provide the context where you can communicate assertively with your spouse in order to come to the best mutual agreement possible. It has many advantages over traditional divorce in that both parties assume that they are working to procure the best possible circumstances for everyone involved. But this has to be the case for it to work.

Assertive communication assumes that there is an equal relationship between you and the person with whom you are communicating. It is the best default stance for any kind of collaboration. You are not being aggressive by asserting your needs as long as they are balanced by and in appropriate relationship with the needs of others. If the other party is not willing to hear your genuine needs or ideas through collaboration, and accuses you of not going along with the program if you do not cave to their needs or desires, then the other party’s goodwill and intent to collaborate on divorce may be suspect. If that is the case and you are the only one bending or making accommodations, you may want to discuss with your divorce attorney in Spokane other routes of divorce, including traditional courtroom procedures.

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